i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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