you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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