I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
