They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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