So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
