Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
