my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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