i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
