guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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