Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
