her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
false alarm, still single
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