My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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