id be glad to
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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