no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
