I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
