I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Come see our sink grown plant.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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