I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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