Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
