She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
