im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the day after is always just damage control
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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