I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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