she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
