As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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