Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In other news, I just burned my penis
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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