She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
