i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
In America we eat man semen.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
