Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
