found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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