Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
