Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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