NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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