We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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