I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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