i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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