found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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