Don't you send me to vm
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
