I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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