I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
