My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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