You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
