don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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