Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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