What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
