Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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