I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
