His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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