Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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