Church boner. Awkwardddd
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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