Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Damn victory sex feels great
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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