People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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