So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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