so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
