She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
