You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
