Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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