Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm at about main and main street
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
