Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
