i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize