My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
