I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
