i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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