If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
