:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Farmville is her only friend.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
