HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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