there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
